Adults Talking to Adults about CSA
The Difference Between "Sick" and "Evil"
Facts About Those Who Might Commit It (8-page brochure)
How Abusers Manipulate Their Victims
Who They Are: Abusers and Their Tactics
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We often hold ourselves responsible for the abuse, assuming that in some way, something we did - or did not do - was what caused our abuse. It's easy enough for me to tell you that it wasn't your fault, but to really understand why, read on about abusers' strategies and grooming techniques.
There are two things in particular that most people don't realise about abusers.
One, that they usually aren't the shadowy stranger lurking in dark corners, but are more likely to be nice guys with steady jobs - often jobs that bring them in regular contact with children - or they're kind, helpful uncles, cousins or other people from a family's circle. They're usually the last person you'd suspect.
Which brings me to Two, that abusers go out of their way to ensure that they're the last person you'd suspect. Before actually abusing a child, they've usually done a lot of preparation work - searching out a vulnerable child, winning the trust of the parents; in fact abusers around the world seem to follow a certain technique of "grooming" children for abuse. I've noticed that it's similar to techniques used to tame animals, win their trust, teach them tricks, or intimidate them into obedience.
